Bed.

I look at my muscles. They seem smaller. Weaker. I do seem weaker.
I breathe dust. That is why my lungs collapse, nearly explode, such is the feeling, the sensation of pain and the effort to describe it by relating it to some phenomena that most people should associate with great power, magnitude. I'm hyperbolating. I'm breathing dust. This room must be in its very original state of being. No one to the extend of my knowledge has ever cleaned here.
Dirt occupies the floor. Sincerely, it has not belonged to me in a long while. If the whole existence came to a question of belonging, there would be no bottom for the argument. No reason. The whole argument turns hollow.

The dessert was malicious, my dear.

Mindful of sand

a fingerprint scanned

never for the damned

and no blessed are in sight

Schism or a fight

need to adjust the light

someone just might have a slight

breeze of delight

And not until the clouds are

machine made can a single tree

set on a crusade

So loose-legged

the armed men stand

in surprise I despise

how they hold onto their land

on the chest

a heart distressed

when the rest

eventually laid to rest

And not until the clouds are

machine made can a single tree

set on a crusade

mysticism

In the absence of violence

                I felt

          a slight discomfort,     a snap

  like a bird’s neck

and every damn bird was dead.

In the absence of  wind 

in that park 

          I stood to grind

                          

               my teeth

that park or some other.

So (what) are we

So are we

leaves rustling beneath feet and

getting along with grass and with

worms that break through

the soil

and

So are we

stains on a shirt from coffee

some morning.      Sealed eyes

bricked lips and     breath

like thunder

and

So are we

3 a.m. quiz on telly

    on     mute

while the big  belly

sags on the

couch.   and    breath

like thunder

every breath    is   like thunder

and so

were we

the bricks that

got thrown at trains.

Slaughterhouse

In the corner shades

blind man swings the blades

better to work in dark,

said the employer, these days

electricity is so darn expensive

and besides,

you don't need to see the result coz in this job

quantity beats quality.

So

in the corner shades

this man swings his blades

hears the engine somewhere

on his left hand

side and

hears the blades cutting flesh

Never has he seen the actual hall.

the environment is not as important as

               your presence,

said the employer.

He knew the way so

he walked straight just as

he was guided to

                          eleven steps

                                     every day

                         just as

he was guided

every day except on Sundays

he didn't know the way to church so

he stayed at home

reading the paper

                until

he walked to the hall

               again just as

he was guided,

                eleven steps

Blades are on the right,

                   right?

                  Right.

On the right,

            right?

                            Yeah, right.

Which side?

                         Right.

                         Right.

No need to think about the left side.

you don't have anything where

you should have your left hand.

No limb.

No fingers.

Nothing

to move. So don't bother

to move

                           Right.

No, left.

And you hear the engine.

Engine is always there

whether you were there or not, the

engine will be, and

          it runs.

It's on the left but

coz you don't even have an arm, so

no need to reach,

         right?

         Right.

After six years

his right hand got

bored, got

frustrated, got

angry and demanded for

rights

went on a strike and told

that he is doing nothing unless

that lazy ass bastard starts to

do his share

So

in the corner shades

the man swings no blades

shrugs his shoulders and

reaches the left hand

out

and all of a sudden it

was all about pain

                             nothing else

               just

             pain

and all of a sudden it

was

                                                  nothing

it was so dark that

the man didn't see the dead end

sign.

He's replacable,

said the employer and

switched the light

off

engine kept roaring

Just like me

my boy wants to be a serial killer

he told with

a cold tune

himself

happy wide smile

on the little round cheeks

I glanced up

over the paper

at my boy

just about to read some

psychologist's interview about

childrearing

a serial killer?

yes pap, still smiling

well, what's not to like, I laughed

who am I to stop you, lil' man?

I leaned back and

reached for the drawer under the

coffee machine

I always thought you'd apply for some

acknowledged university and

become a highly educated professor

I grabbed the biggest knife this

house held

but I guess I can't live vicariously

so you do what you want to

I handed the knife over the

table right

under my boy's eyes

so can I have the honour to be your first victim

go ahead,

make my day

make the day for both

of us

and my boy began crying

cried as hell

what's the matter, son

you're a serial killer

it can never get personal

and he cried even harder

and then came my wife

heard the whole thing from the top

started screaming

louder and

louder

louder

recognized some words like

                      inhumane

           bastard

                                              asshole

                           sick 

    maniac

                                       prison

                 cops 

                          prison

                                              divorce

silence came like a dead end

beyond a hill

they were gone

I think I wasn't really there either

next to the knife was

a package of cereal my boy

was having for breakfast

an ad on the back

how cool cereal killer are you

collect 25 stickers from the inside bottom

and show us how much you just looove

the Sugarpup Strawberry Cereal

I just couldn't stop laughing

fuck the cats and fuck

their fucking cradle and

silverspoon in

       my ass

After party

We left our bodies at my backyard

after the party I had thrown

the last night.

None of us noticed the incident

right away.

Rick, he lives alone in a single flat

goes jogging in the nearby forest

and not much else.

Got one day off after the party

woke up for work early the following morning,

headed for the office.

At first he thought

is this some kind of a game

some theme day again

to raise the spirit?

Ignore Rick -day

or sumthin'

nobody seemed to notice him, passing 

                       by,

         passing by.

No eyes set upon him, except

the hot secretary at the dining room but

she appeared to look straight through him.

Well what's the big news, said Rick to

himself.

But as the hours passed like

the people just

passing by

passing

                by

and even the head of office

didn't pay any attention to him

and even phoned his home several times

Rick got all pale

and ran out.

Same thing with three other guys.

Hank, Walter and

the black guy, Gus

I think

rhymed with bus

anyway

all encountered the same problem

at home

at work

at clubs

Walt's a teacher and

it was a bit hard to lecture about

ionic bonds when

your class keeps asking

where the hell he is.

Me, I was suffering from

quite bad headache the morning

after the party.

I poured myself some coffee

went to the porch, enjoyed the chill

breeze and read Bukowski for

hours straight.

Can't understand the fuss around him.

After two p.m. came my girlfriend

with her little sister.

I heard the car and

got up to give them a

happy greeting from the door.

So the door opened

So they walked inside

So they walked right through

me and my wide-spread arms.

They called my name

So I called back

they smelled the coffee

they saw the open back door

and so

she screamed

my girlfriend, I mean

grabbed her sister and took her

inside

grabbed the phone, cried

and screamed and

cried again

I managed to see her dial

9 – 1 – 1

I walked towards the open back door

towards the porch and wondered

am I still sleeping,

having a fucking hangover sleep, am I going

to wake up all sweat but

relieved?

I got to the door and realized

that I wasn't going to wake up.

I just kept staring at my backyard

and kept swallowing uneased.

We had left our bodies lying there

in a neat ring, feet

pointing at the centre.

We had forgot our bodies but

it was just too late.

and the headache was still there,

a hammering pain

                               still there.